I won't hesitate no more, no more. It cannot wait, I'm YOURS

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours
This song seems to be my 'theme song' for my visit to Australia. No...I'm not going surfing!

From the 1st day i arrived here on August 8th, i have been hearing it everyday. At least once when i switch on the radio, or if i don't hear it on the radio, then it would be on the TV advertisement for a upcoming drama where it is played as a background music!

This song helps me relax too. Now I'm so hook to the song that it continues playing in my head telling me "...I won't hesitate no more, no more. It cannot wait, I'm YOURS". Hmmmm go figure out!
And I think i got Fr. Mark O'Keefe hooked on it too. He seems to be enjoying this song whenever i switch it on from youtube.




If my admirer is still reading my blog, this song is dedicated to you too. Just chill and enjoy..."Well open up your mind and see like me. Open up your plans and damn you're free. A look into your heart and you'll find love love love love".

Below is the 'live in Korea' version. Enjoy!

"If i am your child, oh my God, it is because You did give me such a Mother" - Memoria of St. Monica.

Feast Day - August 27.

St. Augustine said this of his mother, St. Monica; "Never can i describe what her love was for me! By her glance as well as her words, she raised our hearts to God. If I am your child, oh my God, it is because You did give me such a mother".

It never actually hit me when when my friends says fond things about my mother after having met her, until i read what Augustine had to say of his mom.
This made me to reflect that my mother was one of the source of my inspiration to be a priest. I believe her simple ways and her prayer life has given me the courage, the love and the joy of wanting to serve Christ. Her words like "Praying for you" and "I love you" after each time I call gives me the motivation to persevere.

I'm sure we all have someone praying for us or someone who has been an inspiration in our life, that now we want to be Christ-like (be it our mother, father, a priest, saints, politician, humanitarian and charity workers, the many unsung heroes or even a friend, etc.). They might still be alive or even dead. So today in a special way we remember them and thank the Lord for them and its our turn now to pray for them.

All those who have been influential in our life have lead us to know God the father who loves us very much, with childlike trust we pray...

Perseverance - Memoria of St. Monica (August 27)

The church commemorates the memoria of St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine on 27 August. Saint Monica succeeded in converting her husband through gentleness and she shed so much tears and went all out, to lead her son, Augustine to the truth. She loved him and prayed unceasingly for the conversion of her son. Her prayers were not answered immediately but it finally bear fruit because of her perseverance.

Through her example, we are taught to persevere and go all out in our ministry of service. We might be praying for someone or something and sometimes it never seems to be heard or answered or the answers are not what we had expected. Through the life story of St. Monica and St. Augustine, we are reminded that God actually answers at times He feels right for us and what is best for us.

We pray that we may be given the strength to persevere and let God's will be done in our life.

Could not find the right match or have given up hope in life?

In our parish today…(‘our’?…yes! I ‘feel’ belonged and I’m part of it); we had the last preparations for the 1st Holy Communion candidates before they receive the Eucharist for the first time this weekend. It was held at a nearby school hall. This school is run by thechurch and nearly all the candidates are from this school. The sessions were given by Sr. Joan Goodwin RSJ. who serves at the parish and nearby schools. One of the session was a ‘mass explain’ via viewing a video. They even had the opportunity to learn hands-on on how bread (hosts) and wine were made; the two important elements for mass. After lunch we walked to the church to end with a session by Fr. Mark (Parish Priest). Father elaborated further about the Mass and he showed them the right manner when they come up to receive Holy Communion.

Session for !st Holy Communion Candidates by Sr. Joan Goodwin RSJ.

Session at the church.

While all this was going on, I was recalling a fond memory; an incident which is so close to my heart. About 9years ago, I was giving a similar session for the 9 years old in a parish in Kuala Lumpur. After my session, when I was leaving the hall, a girl stood up and stopped me. She said; “You are a priest”. I pat on her head and told her that I am not. She replied; “I know…but you are a priest” Hmmm... "I know"?? I had many sleepless nights pondering on it, even now! This is one of the many affirmations I have received that has helped me in my discernment to the priesthood. I do not know who the girl was and I’ve never seen her before but she had to ‘pat’ actually give me a big ‘hit’ on my head to give me a 'message'. In 2006 I was sent to that parish for pastoral. Coincidently I was asked to give a session for the confirmation class. According to my calculation, that little girl should be in this class if she was still in the parish. And when the students asked me about my vocation story, I shared with them this incident and they were shocked when I told them that that little girl might be one of them. Unfortunately no one could remember and no one came up claiming to be that little girl. So, was she an angel sent by God? Hmmm.


While still being in cloud nine; recalling the day and the fond memory of that little girl, I received a message from a new friend who had just added me on her facebook. When she found out that I am considering being a priest, she asked whether is it because I couldn’t find the right match or I have given up hope in life! Hahaha I just had to laugh. I was thinking do people still think like that? She said she was kidding and later said it was interesting when I shared more. So I guess it’s just plain ignorance; not only her but many out there especially our Catholic friends. I was not angry with her; in fact, it was good for her to remind me why I want to be a priest and of course the joy I find in the priesthood. Even by being an aspirant and looking forward towards this great gift of God; I feel so happy, how much more will it be when by God’s grace I’m given the opportunity to be His priest. I am still praying and hoping that I’m doing God’s will. Many are aware that at this moment I am going through some difficult and testing time. They have asked how is it that I’m so relaxed and not worried about my future? My answer to them is ‘prayer’. Prayer is the one, that keeps me going in life and of course ‘trusting in the Lord’ which has been a constant theme in my life (and in my blog!!). Where else can I go? To whom else can I turn to? (Jn 6:68). He is my creator and He is responsible to look after me, especially after His promise to me when I said my first ‘Yes’.


Yes Lord, I’m only your clay, so You mold me as you wish. I pray Lord that You will help me not to be a dry clay or turn to be a stone (stubborn and can't be molded) but open and willing to do and be; anything according to your will and plan.


Friends, please pray for me, and many those aspiring to be priest and in fact for each one of us; that we will do what God wants us to do and be.

Parish and Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, Unanderra.

I promised in a previous post to publish something about the parish i am staying at during this 1st visit to Australia. So today being the Memoria of the Queenship of Mary ,I would like to dedicate this post to the Parish and Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, Unanderra. The parish is in the Diocese of Wollongong, NSW, Australia.

Parish Founded – 16 November 1952

Church Blessed and Opened – 21 November 1954

The sanctuary of the church.

When the church was 1st built, the statute of Our Lady was above the tabernacle.
Then in July 1972 the statue of Our Lady was removed to the shrine
and it was replaced with a large Crucifix
and later, the statues of Mary and the Beloved Disciple.

The church was declared the Diocesan Shrine to Our Lady – 25 March 1993.

This large painting embellishing one bay of the ceiling of the nave
is of the Coronation of Our Lady surrounded by the Blessed Trinity.
(The feast day today)

The Presbytery (parish house) was blessed on 19 May 1957.
The window on the top left is my room window.

The prayer room (Oratory) at the Presbytery (parish house).

I am so amazed with this particular statues of the scene
of 'at the foot of the cross'.
It is the same scene as in the church,
but these figurine is so unique
that every morning when i look at it during my prayer,
it makes me think and reflect on the figurine's facial and body gestures
esp the hands of Mary and the Beloved Disciple.
It also makes me wonder what they are thinking
at that moment looking at the crucified Christ.
I always ask myself what was the intention of the sculptor
when he made this figurine, what was in his mind.

Prayer

Almighty God, our Father,
you have given us Mary, the Mother of your Son,
to be our Mother and Queen.
Grant that, supported by her prayers,
we may come to the kingdom of heaven
and to the glory destined for your children.
(Concluding prayer from the DO for the Memoria)

Memoria of St. Bernard, Abbot & Doctor of the Church (Feastday August 20)

Introduction to Vespers. 
The Psalm 138 (139) which we pray this evening, gives us the confidence that God knows us through and through. Before ever a word is on our tongue, God knows it.

Many times we have taken God and our prayers for granted that our prayer becomes careless. We are very fortunate to have ample of prayer times..but.. how have we used it?

St. Bernard says; “A person who prays carelessly, and yet expects his prayers to be heard, is like a man who pours bad grains into a mill, but expects to receive good flour in return”.

Let us pray that we may be faithful and truthful in our prayer, for prayer is a form of expressing our relationship with God.

As a community journeying in prayer, we pray…

Memoria of St. Bernard, Abbot & Doctor of the Church (Feastday August 20)

Introduction to Lauds.
“For Sion’s sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest” In this phrase taken from the Canticle (Isaiah 61), we can see the prophet’s eagerness and anticipation in restoring the holy city.
 
Likewise we can see the same sentiments in the life of St. Bernard whose memorial we celebrate today. He was very much concern for the happenings of the church even though living an austere monastic life. He exposed the fallacies, which exalted human reason and rationalism and thus restored peace and unity in churches which have been divided. During the 2nd crusade, when Jerusalem and Antioch were threatened he went to preach the crusade.
 
We pray that we will be like St. Bernard, standing up to our faith and defending the church and it’s teachings in the midst of all kinds of scandal and happenings around the world.  

As a community, having so much love for the church, we pray…

Post World Youth Day

The 2008 World Youth Day (WYD) in Australia was like a tsunami, a spiritual tsunami! But unlike the tsunami, there have been lots of preparations in the various dioceses in Australia and also around the world for this event. I am now here in Australia at the phase 3 of the WYD i.e. the post-celebrations. Like the tsunami, I do feel the ‘after effects’ of this great event which was brilliantly initiated by the great well loved Pope John Paul II. The people here in Australia still do talk about it. It’s only about a month after the event, so it is still fresh in their minds. They are proud, happy and thankful for being given the chance to host it. It has been indeed a great opportunity to receive and give. I have been for 2 WYD (Manila-1995 and Rome-2000) but I do regret for not being able to be here during the WYD, graced by Pope Benedict XVI. Over the weekend, I attended 2 post 2008 WYD gatherings and heard lots of testimonies and sharing on how the WYD has greatly affected their lives.

The 1st gathering was with some young adults. It was a get-together at a club – food court (for us in Malaysia it would be like ‘lepaking at the mamak stall’). This gathering was organized by the Youth Mission Team with the idea to enable the young adults engage in fun and spiritual growth as how they have experienced during the WYD. The 2nd meeting was at the parish. Here we had a mix group-the seniors, adults, young adults, teenagers and the kids. Everyone shared their experiences; some being the host family to the pilgrims, some as the local pilgrims themselves and even the kids had something to say. They all shared how the preparations, the journey of the WYD Cross and Icon has been a great encounter with the Lord and how the WYD events at the week itself have been meaningful. Some could not even describe it with words, but with their expressions on their faces I could read their feelings of joy about the WYD which they have experienced.

Young Adults Gathering
(L-R: Me, Joseph, Tim & Stephen)

Some of the people who came to the gathering at the parish.

I am sure those people who I have met in these 2 meetings and all Australians for the matter of fact and not forgetting the pilgrims who came from all over the world will agree with me that they can all express the same sentiments in the words of St. Peter at the transfiguration of the Lord; “Lord it is wonderful for us to be (have been) here”. But, now is the most difficult part of the WYD and it is the same with all kinds of event especially spiritual events. The theme for the 2008 WYD is “you will receive power when the holy spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses” (Acts 1:8) and from the testimonies of the people I am convinced that the Holy Spirit has indeed filled the hearts and enkindled the fire of His love among the hearts of the faithful. The challenge now is to keep the fire burning within, the challenge now is to share with others 'that' fire of love which the Spirit has filled in our hearts, and the challenge now is to be a witness.

At the transfiguration of Jesus (Mt.17), the disciples felt so good and motivated that they wanted to remain there with the experiences of what they have encountered. But no, that’s not right! Jesus had to bring the disciples down the mountain; for it is down there (here), the mission is. (Jesus had to continue to do his work when he came down from the mountain. Ref -Mt.17:14) It is true; it is not Catholic to just remain 'there'! Our mission is to share. That is why at the end of each mass, after our encounter with the Lord through His Word, Eucharist and others, we are told to ‘Go forth to serve and love’. It is always difficult to ‘go, serve and love’, but Jesus assures us, just like how He assured the disciples at the transfiguration; “…but Jesus came and touched them, saying do not be afraid” (Mt.17:7).

We have heard this phrase “Do not be afraid” repeated many times in all WYD’s and it is still relevant today as we take now the challenge to keep the fire burning, to share with others and to be a witness, because Jesus has come, touched us all (through these experiences) and assured us not to be afraid.

Introduction to Lauds: Week 3, Thursday

Defect by Comparison

Through the scripture reading today (1 Peter 4:10-11), we are reminded of our responsibilities of our gifts or graces God has entrusted to us. But many times we have given comments or excuses saying; “I am just this…or…just that.” The word ‘just’ implies a limitation or defect by comparison. We basically put ourselves down.

God has created each of us as a wonderful human being with something special we are meant to share with our world. With all that graces we are called to be of service to others. All gifts have value in the eyes of God only if they have developed and share with love.

We pray that we may recognize and accept the beauty of who we are in God’s eyes and all His gifts to us.

As good stewards of God’s gifts, we pray…

My 1st few days in the land 'Down Under'...oi oi oi!

It’s been 6days now since I stepped foot on the land 'Down Under' – Australia, and I’m really enjoying it.

Though it’s very cold here but I’m slowly adapting to it. Fr. Mark, whom I’m staying with has been so generous with everything including sharing his clothing to warm myself. He has been convincing me that it will get warmer soon. I’m at New South Wales and it’s not as bad as in Melbourne where it is very-very cold.

I was fortunate to attend ‘Priesthood Enquiry Weekend’ on my 1st day here. From Unanderra where I am staying, we drove about 30-45min to Gerringong. A beautiful place where you see the hills and sea meet.

During this gathering I met interesting people (1 bishop, 3 priests, 1 seminarian and 6 aspirants-incl. some ex-seminarians). Unfortunately the battery on my camera was weak and I could not take many more pictures of the gathering. The 1st night was more of introductions and getting to know one another. On the second day, we had good reflective personal sharing. Then we drove about 15min to the country side name Berry for Mass and adoration at the Church of St. Patrick.

Church of St. Patrick, Berry

Eucharistic Celebration at St. Patrick's.
(L-R: Fr. Patrick Vaughan, Fr. Richard Healey & Fr. Mark O'Keefe)

After lunch, we walked along the beach. Nice to see seagulls for a change instead of the ‘burung gagak’ (crow) which is a pest at our local beaches in Malaysia.

The Bishop of Wollongong, Rt. Rev Bishop Peter Ingham joined us for dinner and each of us had a chance of ‘chit-chat’ with him. From my 1st meeting with him, I find him to be a friendly, caring bishop who enjoys joking. He was kind enough to stay back for the last session which was a movie reflection that ended about 10pm. The following day we walked to the church for our Sunday Eucharist. The church is called Church of Mary, Star of the Sea. The gathering ended after lunch. It was indeed a fruitful event, especially for me. It gives me some idea on the priesthood and the vocations here.

Some of the priests and participants of Priesthood Enquiry Weekend.
(L-R: Fr. Mark O'Keefe, Ronald Colman, Stephen Varney, Nigel Porter, Ernest Egelonu, Peter Zielinski, Adrian Mathews & Fr. Richard Healey)

During that whole weekend, my thoughts and prayer was also for the participants and seminarians at Penang, College General who were having a similar weekend called Vocation Stay-in Experience. I was told about 37 aspirants participated. Congratulations CG! God bless you all for nurturing the seeds of vocations on these 37 young men.

The Sunday evening I attended mass at the parish I am staying. It’s the Immaculate Conception Parish which is also a Diocesan Shrine of Our Lady. (Will write about the parish and publish some pictures of it 1day). It was a cold evening and I was shivering during mass but the parishioners I met after mass was warm. I talked to a few and found them all very welcoming. The mass here is a little different as in Malaysia, but I was able to follow. This is why we say the Catholic Church all over the world is a clear example of the saying; ‘Unity in Diversity’. One of the things that I am very impressed is that, the way the people here wishes the sign of peace. The don’t just nod like how we do back home, but shake hands with warm smiles and if they know your name, they will address you by it. After mass, Fr. Mark and I had pizza for our dinner and we talked way pass 1am. I’m happy with the food here; I hope to reduce my tummy by the time I go back home! Hehehe.

On Monday just before lunch Fr. Mark and I visited the parish school – St. Pius X. In the evening we had mass and prior to that we had the Monday devotion to Our Lady.
My friends, you were all in my thoughts during the prayer. Do pray for me too.
On Tuesday morning, I followed Fr. Mark to the Figtree Nursing Home for Mass and Anointing. We had the opportunity to go for a movie too, Tuesday here, is like our Wednesday back home where we get discounts at the cinema. Including the 2 of us, the Cinema had only 6viewers. The movie ended about 6.30pm, it was already dark and the shops were all either closed or closing.

Today I had lunch at the parish school. It’s a practice here in this school to celebrate birthdays of staffs that has a '0' in their age (30,40,50,60) and other events such as anniversaries, giving birth, etc. The 1hour birthday lunch (during the students lunch break) was impressive. We had great food, creative decoration based on the theme of the 'likes' of the person celebrating the birthday (such as color, food, songs, etc). There were songs sung by some teachers and the acting principal was so sporting that he too sang a song and danced! Wah…so much for an hour birthday lunch at the schools!!


I am looking forward for the coming days and weeks of my stay here. For all those who misses me...I miss you too. Till then take care.

Memoria of St. Dominic, Priest (August 08)

We celebrate the Memorial of St. Dominic, the founder of the Order of Preachers (Dominicans), which is dedicated to the improvement of morals, the extirpation of heresy, and the strengthening of the faith.

St. Dominic once taught; “A man who governs his passions is master of the world”. Feelings or passions are emotions or movements of the sensitive appetite (internal & external senses) that incline us to act or not to act in regard to something felt or imagined to be good or evil (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1763). The sensitive appetite leads us to desire pleasant things we do not have, e.g. the desire to eat when we are hungry, or to warm ourselves when we are cold. These desires are good in themselves, but often they exceed the limits of reason and drive us to greed, avarice and concupiscence. The effects of greed can be obesity, avarice arising from the passion of riches and power. And we can take an old incident in the United States i.e. the Clinton & Lewinsky’s scandal as an example for concupiscence. Clinton tried to take over the world but his passions took over him. I’m sure in our local political scene, this example can be relevant too (You know who I am referring to right? – we shall wait for the decisions of the courts).

So we pray that we may discern what is good and bad for us and pray for God’s strength to govern our passions. For Jesus too became human like each one of us.

“A man who governs his passions is master of the world”.

We need to 'PUSH' and 'Be PUSHed'

My childhood was full of enjoyable activities. Together with my cousin and neighbors who were around my age group, we will have all kinds of activities and games. Other than jumping into rivers, going fishing, going mini jungle expeditions, climbing trees, etc, we will also play all sorts of 'kampung' sports. We even had our very own 'Wembely stadium'. In this so called stadium, one can play various types of games and at times we end up breaking some windows of the houses nearby. But in this post, i will like to share about one unique game i used to play which now i see had progress. Its the 'pushing something with wheels game'.

When I was a small boy around the age of 3, my father made me a toy (a long stick with a wheel). I used to push it around the 'kampung'. When i was a little older, I used to love to push the wheelbarrow; and when there were any chores to do around the 'kampung' and it involved the wheelbarrow, I'll be so willing and excited to do it. Later my toy was my father's bicycle. Not able to cycle on it because of its size, I will push it around the 'kampung'. My parents, seeing that I love the bicycle, later bought me one and it was a mean to go for tuition classes.

I thought that was the end of my 'pushing something with wheels game'. But no! I had greater challenge. From just a toy to a little boys personal game, it became a favor for others! I am sure you too had the same experience having to push a motorcycle or a car to start. I have done that many times. But just a couple of days ago, I had a greater challenge! I was asked to push a bus! Serious Wei! A task to push the bus up a slope on a sharp bend is not easy and its not fun either, keeping in mind of the Malaysian 'kampung' heat. So together with the bus ticket conductor and some school boys we pushed the bus front, back, front, back many times to the laughter of the residents around, but the bus still could not be started. We were all giving up when the bus ticket conductor said "One final push". The word 'final' was indeed a motivation, and when we did it; the bus finally started!

Life's journey too can be the same. We need to 'push' and 'be pushed' especially when stopped along the journey, having not reach the destination. At times we can push it alone, and at times we need the help of others especially when the challenge is greater; we need to hear them saying 'OK, one final push'! And at times this phrase needs to be repeated.

This bus incident has a message for me. I was brought to mind of it while reflecting on the life of a very great man, a man whom i admire very much. He is St. John Mary Vianney, Patron for Parish Priest. He had to overcome tremendous difficulties to be finally ordained. All of us have a purpose in life, and at times we have to go through difficulties and challenges to accomplish our purpose.

St. John Mary Vianney...Pray for us.