Forgiven?? I don't think so. (Follow-up frm previous post)

Just want 2 share with you a response from a dear friend regarding the previous post (dated May11, 2009).

"I still love u Adrian..regardless!! Being a priest doesn't make one any holier or better dear...(NAME...[Fr.]) always used to remind me at (NAME OF PLACE) .."There are good priests and there are bad priests". These lessons always help us understand that man is never perfect; not even priests.
(NAME...[Fr.])'s famous line, " We only really learn or understand the things we are willing to ACCEPT".
Perhaps its time to figure out your true worth dear..as a human being. Are you able to love and accept yourself now? Are you able to see and more importantly FEEL that God loves you regardless of whether you are a priest or not? Are you still able to Love with the same passion and drive? Can you accecpt that people still love you and see more than your roman collar?
Can you allow yourself to be angry and hurt that people have hurt you? Can you carry that hurt and pain for however long you wish until you are tired of it and want to let it go? (God is patient dear..after all He has all eternity! ha ha) and so am I... Answer these questions from your heart, not your head..la. Your heart is were God dwells.
Luv and big hug" (NAME)

A good reminder, a call for deep reflection, a knock on the head!
Thank you my dear friend.
Reflecting on it, i have come to realise that what i wrote in my previous post is not true at all; i.e. i have not actually forgiven those who are the cause of my crisis. Ahhhh i'm so frustrated and angry with them.
But i guess, its time to move on. Can I? Will I?
Hope this job thingy - a new chapter in my life, would be a good start.

1st Anniversary of Unjust Dismissal

1 year has passed since i was unfairly asked to leave the seminary and till now there are no concrete reasons given to me and no answers to my many questions on my unjust dismissal and the seminary 'happenings' and 'scandals' which i have raised. It has been a very difficult year and in fact its actually 2years since the whole saga started. During this time i have also come to know the 'true colours' of some people and institutions.

In a few days time, a new chapter begins in my life; working life in JB. I still believe God is leading me. He has a reason for allowing me to go through those difficult times, and again there is a reason for this new chapter in my life. I pray that I may do His will.

During this 2 difficult years in my life, I have encountered many different people, especially my fellow lay people, for being there for me. I want to thank you for your prayers, encouragement and care which has been a strength for me to carry on in life. Many says; It is in time of crisis that true character is revealed. It is also in time of crisis you can know who your true friends are. Friends, who stick with you in good times and in bad. I thank all of you who have helped me in one way or another.

For those of you who are the devil's advocate and the cause of these 2 difficult years for me, i forgive you and i pray for you and for those who ostracised and rejected me because i am a 'nobody' now, i pray for you. Too bad, you did not see that I was 'somebody' made in the image and likeness of God.

As Catholics, do we have to accept everything the Church teaches?

If you want to call yourself Catholic, but you want to pick and choose for yourself which of the Church's teachings to accept and which to reject, you give everyone else who calls themselves Catholic the right to do the same thing.

For example, you believe women should be priests...in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1577 states, "Only a baptized man validly receives ordination...For this reason the ordination of women is not possible!" You don't believe that...well, that's fine...[RIP] just tear that page out of your Catechism...you just made it a Catechism of your Catholic Church...not mine.

But remember, if you can throw doctrines out, so can everyone else who calls themselves Catholic. That gives Joe Parishioner over at St. Doubting Thomas Catholic Church the right to throw out the Church's social justice teachings...he doesn't feel like feeding the hungry, caring for the poor, and all that other "bleeding heart" stuff - Paragraphs 2401 -2463 [RIP]...he just made it a Catechism of his Catholic Church...not mine and not yours.

You believe contraception is okay? Paragraph 2370 says contraception is intrinsically evil! [RIP] Joe Parishioner doesn't like what the Church teaches on the death penalty - Paragraphs 2266-2267 [RIP]. You don't like what it teaches on pages 55-60 [RIP]. He doesn't like what it teaches on pages 128-140 [RIP]

Can you see what's happening? I heard it said once that there is a shortage of vocations to the priesthood in the United States, but no shortage of vocations to the Papacy! If we don't believe in all of it, if we each appoint ourselves Pope and throw out a doctrine here or a doctrine there, then our faith is no longer Catholic.

(This article is from the 'notes' of Alphonsus Josemaria Soh's facebook)

Advent - To meet the Lord, we must be prepared for life, not just for death!

Travellers wait for buses and planes, students wait for their exam results. Waiting is part of life. Life is not like instant coffee, there is always more to life than we can grasp its fullness at any one time.

Advent invites us to wait for the Lord and surely we must wait for the Lord who will come at the moment of our death. Hence Advent calls us always to be ready to meet the Lord at our death. But as Christians, we should be ready not just for the final coming of Christ but for His constant coming every day of our lives.

If we are alert, we can find the Lord popping up in the ordinary activities and possibilities of life. If I am watchful, He may be tapping me on my shoulder when I meet my 'sisters and brothers'. If only we have 'those eyes that see, those ears that hear' (Is. 64:4), we can meet Him in His supreme visit, which He makes in a thousand ways. To meet the Lord, we must be prepared for life, not just for death!

As a community waiting in prayer, we pray...

Prayer is WAITING and so is Advent.

Prayer is WAITING.

Waiting, places the emphasis on the other person who is coming.

To wait is to express my powerlessness, my insufficiency because the other is in control. And that is how our attitude should be towards God. I cannot force God to come. All I can do is wait and be present. In simply waiting for God, I admit that God is important to my life.

As a people waiting in prayer, we pray...

Little Drummer Boy

In my post yesterday, i shared about one of my favorite psalm and had linked it with one of my favorite Christmas carols i.e. Little Drummer Boy. Personally i feel this song is suitable to be sang at mass for offertory or presentation of the gifts during the Christmas season. Check out the words of the song and enjoy the clips.




Little Drummer Boy
Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?

Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.


Another version of the song.

Psalm 50 (51)

Psalm 50 (51) is one of my favourite psalm. I am very happy that this psalm is said every Friday morning at Lauds. For me this psalm is like a child begging or non-stop asking (pestering) the father for something and the child will only stop when the father says yes or gives it to the child. Likewise through praying this psalm, I am the child asking God my father for His grace of forgiveness and His love.

I dare not and will not say that I am perfect for I am a sinner. By praying this psalm, I am able to feel and receive God's forgivenes, assurance of His mercy and His love.

I have identify a 'mini penintential service' in this psalm:-

a) Introduction - a song of hope and assurance of God's forgiveness (verses 1-2) - confident that God will forgive me.

b) Confessing of one's sins / acknowledging of sins (verse 3-6)

c) Act of Contrition - prayer for forgiveness (verse 7-12)

d) Penance - to bring others back to God (verse 13)

e) Thanksgiving (verses 14-17)

f) Intercession (verses 18-19)

What attracted me to this psalm is God's constant love, His great compassion and His assurance of His forgiveness (verse 1-2). That God is able to create a pure heart and able to give me a new spirit. Just like the 'drummer boy' (a Christmas song) who could only play his drum as a gift for the newborn King, I can only offer my broken spirit and my broken heart to God as a sacrifice (verse 17).