Marriage is the Sacrament of Trinitarian Life.

I find it so fitting that John and Mary has chosen this day to get married; the weekend where the Catholic Church celebrates the solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity. It is my desire and hope and I strongly believe that as you listen and reflect on the homily you would understand why I had said that it is fitting that this couple has chosen this day to make their commitment to each other.  Pope Saint John Paul II in his 1994 Letter to Families suggested to the various families in the world to take the Trinity as a model of Family. I quote; “In the light of the New Testament it is possible to discern how the primordial model of the family is to be sought in God himself, in the Trinitarian mystery of His life. The divine ‘We’ is the eternal pattern of the human ‘we’, especially of that ‘we’ formed by the man and the woman created in the divine image and likeness.” Now in a simple way for you John and Mary, what St. John Paul II is saying is that in their marital relationship, a man and a woman can together image the Most Holy Trinity, definitely in a limited human way. So basically your marriage life should draw you into the life of a Triune God.  Taking the Trinitarian life as your model in marriage, your marriage life not only follow this perfect example of unity and community but to participate actively in this Trinitarian life it would also mean that you two would have to use your individual and couple gifts as followers of the Trinity in the work of Salvation.   

 

The Trinity is founded in love. It is so appropriate to listen to the reading taken from 1John 4:7-12 that you two have chose for your wedding. The statement ‘God is Love’ is Trinitarian; only because God is love can God self-communicate to us as love (Kasper). Our life is meaningful only when our love mirrors the love of the Trinity.  The theologian Richard of St. Victor explains that ‘When one person gives love to another and he alone loves only the other, there certainly is love, but it is not shared love. When two love each other mutually and give to each other the affection of supreme longing; there is certainly is love on both sides, but it is not shared love either. Shared love is properly said to exist when a third person is loved by two persons harmoniously and in community, and the affection of the two persons is fused into one affection by the flame of love for the third.’ From here, we can see now that the Trinity becomes a model of love too. St. Augustine once explained that the Holy Spirit is the love of the Father and the Son. The Holy Spirit then, as the spirit of love of the Father and of the Son, transforms the love of man and woman into part of the Trinitarian love which is the very being of God. ‘Just as in the Trinity where the Father and Son bring forth the Spirit by their love, so too marital love is open to another who proceeds from the mutual love of the husband and wife’ (Gallagher) and here we are definitely talking about the procreation of children, in a way we see that it parallels the creative and nurturing dimensions of the Trinity. Of course this particular and special fruitfulness of marriage has been the dominant aspect emphasized by the church but this fruitfulness is not limited to generativity.  The creative result of a marriage though has been highlighted by the church as generativity can also be a shared purpose of a life project between the two of you. I hope the two of you had discussed about your ambitions, visions, dreams and plans as a family. 

 ‘The relationship among the Persons of the Trinity is marked by equality of personhood, interdependence (not independence), cooperation (not competition), unity of purpose, and mutual self-giving and receiving’ (Martin Davis). Moreover, the relationship among the divine Persons in the Trinity is so close and intimate that they are said to ‘mutually indwell’ one another (perichoresis). At this junction here I find it very appropriate to quote the United States Bishops’ Conference in their pastoral letter entitled ‘Marriage – Love and Life in the Divine Plan’ “First, like the Persons of the Trinity, marriage is a communion of love between co-equal persons, beginning with that between husband and wife and then extending to all members of the family…. This communion of life-giving love is witnessed within the life of the family, where parents and children, brothers and sisters, grandparents and relatives are called to live in loving harmony with one another and to provide mutual support to one another…. These relations among the persons in communion simultaneously distinguish them from one another and unite them to one another…. Therefore, just as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are distinctly who they are only in relation to one another, so a man and a woman are distinctly who they are as husband and wife only in relation to one another. At the same time, in a way analogous to the relations among Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which unites the three persons as one God, the inter-relationship of the husband and wife make them one as a married couple…. The Trinitarian image in marriage and family life can be seen in a second way. Just as the Trinity of persons is a life-giving communion of live both in relationship to one another and to the whole of creation, so a married couple shares in this life-giving communion of love by together procreating children in the conjugal act of love…”

Dear John and Mary, immediately after making your vows, you both no longer would participate as individuals but as a couple. The other married couples gathered here to witness your marriage can testify to this that in a marriage there is constantly mutual giving and receiving. In all that you do, in your decisions, you have to consider the other. Love consists of self-giving and receiving, a lot of sacrifices. Here meaning that each of you would be putting the needs of the other before one’s own. “In marriage, man and woman can complement each other in a mutual way by making decisions together and sharing roles. This shared life pattern is an expression of the couples’ love and mutuality; it shines from and contributes to their ongoing marital relationship’ (Denis Toohey). In this living out of mutual giving and receiving the married couple most closely resembles the Trinity. Just as their relationality gives meaning to the three divine persons, it is the process of becoming one flesh that gives meaning and purpose to a marriage as we have heard in the short Gospel text taken from Matthew 19: 4b-6 chosen for the wedding today. The persons in the relationship are equal, there is no hierarchy. “In any form of true community and especially so of the Trinity and of marital relationship, the focus is on the other, not oneself; persons relate as equals in personhood, regardless of talents or rights” (LaCugna). I am sure that all of us gathered here, can see the expressions of love that both of you have for each other. The love that you express especially when you make your marital vows, forms a unity; a communion of love. In the Trinity, there is love so perfect that the result is perfect unity, one God, and this perfect communion of love is what that you two must always remember and continue to aspire. In sacramental terms, the presence of the Trinity, already bestowed on you through the grace at baptism, is now effected in the Christian marriage in a new manner, as a joint communion of both of you and your participation in the Trinitarian love. 

The Vatican II document, Gaudium et Spes, n.48, marriage is described as ‘an intimate partnership of life and love’. Within the unity, there is profound intimacy and as I mentioned earlier, this intimacy is described as ‘mutually indwell’ in the Trinity. The intimacy within marriage refers to much more than only conjugal union and is achieved through the self giving in love. “Intimacy in marriage involves an overlapping of space, a willingness to be influenced and openness to the possibility of change’ (Whitehead). John and Mary, I have been using the model of the Trinity to show you that marital relationships are to be like the Trinitarian relationship. While the Trinitarian relationships are eternal, the marital relationship is forever. This is the commitment that the two of you are about to make. “Your irrevocable commitments in mutual surrender reflect the unbreakable fidelity of God within the Trinity and to those whom God loves outside it” (Hogan and Le Voir).    

I hope that this homily not only finds a place in the married life of John and Mary but also to all those gathered here to witness this bond between them, let it be to those already married and those who are thinking of getting married. By modeling and patterning your marriages on this perfect example of unity and community, I hope your marriages fulfill the vocation in bringing about the reign of the Trinitarian God, not only in your married life and family but also through your witness to the love of God in the world. We pray that John and Mary and all married couples do not only image and model the Trinity but also participates in the Trinitarian life and work of salvation reaching out to all people who come in their way.